Showtime anchorman picks out his top performers.

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Well, after a cracking opening weekend in the English Premier league itCOs clear that the top three come the end of the season will be Newcastle champions, Hull second and Bolton third. ICOve been forced to revise my pre-season prediction of Hull as Champions following the GeordiesCO masterclass in holding on for a point against the champions.Following a terrific debut from self-styled CySpidermanCO Jonas Gutierrez I canCOt wait for the Gallowgate to become one seething mass of black and white shirted fans all wearing CySpideeCO masks. I noticed quite a few in the away end

on Sunday, and heard a few choruses of CySpiderman, Spiderman...CO etc, so be warned!Yes, watching Chelsea was indeed like watching Brazil, they were superb, while you really have to be born in Brazil to get a game for Manchester United, who apparently have more South American kids in their squad than the great yellow team of Pele! CyThreadbareCO, was a word used by Showtime guest Ray Wilkins to describe the championsCO opening day line-up.Even at this early stage, the CyRafaCOs going to walk awayCO rumours gather pace. I always find the more a person has to deny things, the more substance there is to the story. Liverpool have looked flat the past two games. There may be trouble ahead!The same could apply to Everton. But suddenly Blackburn have a spring in their step. No-one had to deny the CyitCOs not a happy campCO rumour more than new boss Paul Ince in pre-season. Hopefully now he will be left alone to do the job.And we wait with interest after Lenny the Lion, BoltonCOs mascot, was sent off against Stoke. ICOm not sure quite what he did to rile the ref, or whether it was a straight red or two yellows. Just when Bolton kick-off with a bang, poor Lenny might be facing a prolonged suspension!BEST DAD IN THE WORLDForget the talent on show in the Premier League though, the real star of the weekend was Enrique Iglesias. Yes, the super-cool singer was in brilliant form at a private gig at the Mina ACOSalam.John Barnes managed to get tickets because his big pal Ian Wright was comparing, and big Enrique didnCOt let us down. As his set opened, 20 security dudes stood up and started pushing people around, banning photos etc, which was completely out of context with the audience there. What is it that sends a man into bully mode, just because heCOs wearing a black suit and a walkie-talkie ; WEIRD! Anyway, Enrique suddenly stopped and told them all to get lost. Hilarious!Aa He just said: C[pounds sterling]Look lads, youCOre getting on my nerves, weCOre here for a good time. DonCOt do it, go away.C[yen] Different class let me tell you.Aa Suddenly, heCOs inviting people on stage to sing with him, taking photos of himself with punters. HeCOs absolutely brilliant. At one point he sat down and said: C[pounds sterling]ICOm here for you. Shout out what you want me to sing and ICOll sing it. So what do you want me to do next ;C[yen]

C[pounds sterling]STRIPPPPPPP!!!!!C[yen], yelled the elderly woman close to us. Closing the show, the great man suddenly lept into the audience on to a table right by us. He reached down and lifted my 17-year-old daughter Alice up alongside him, and started hugging and kissing her while singing and dancing. As sheCOs loved Enrique for more years thanAa we all care to remember, it was without doubt a CycanCOt believe itCOs happening to meCO moment. Wonderful. Myself, Barnsie and his lovely wife Andrea were shrieking like kids, whooping and hollering.From that day on, at least for the next few days, please donCOt refer to me as the usual, snotty-nosed Rob McCaffrey, scruffy kid from Liverpool. You can use my new title: CyGreatest Dad in the WorldCO!BIG-MATCH NERVESI think it must have been nerves ahead of the big kick-off, but just when I needed a really good Friday night sleep, I found myself pacing the flat, like an enraged animal, in the wee small hours. ItCOs been waiting to happen I have to say, because out of nowhere, thereCOs been an unusual screeching buzz in my bedroom, which ICOve ignored up until now. ItCOs like the sound crickets make crossed with the noise you hear when a train is approaching. Kind of electrical, kind of bloomin annoying.Aa It woke me at 3am , and I had no alternative but to try and sort it. It was definitely coming from the top of the curtain rail, but every time I approached it would stop.Frustrated, I wandered to the fridge for a drink, forgetting completely the fridge is officially the noisiest in the world when opened as it struggles to regain the correct temperature. So now I had the fridge noise and the buzzing. Then the people upstairs roll in from a night out and whack on the music full blast. I wouldnCOt mind, but their taste is mingin! CyShould I go up and have a word ;CO I thought. But ICOm not sure really where they are and ICOd probably have knocked on eight doors before getting the right one!AaAa Finally they switch off, and after a full 10 seconds of blissful silence, the lads on the building site across the road switch on the diggers and crank up the dayCOs building! Beaten, I wander to the settee and flick on the telly. Premier league goals from last season at 4am. At least I had no excuses when the real stuff started again!

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